Pig & Fiddle Football

Under the captaincy of Tanman (captain clubfoot) since June 2009

Tanman's Injury... the naked truth

News from the sofa: Part 1

After a small delay due to unforeseen circumstances (lager) captains corner is up and running with your always friendly comedy genius Tan Man. I will begin with a small review of the season: We've won a few, lost a few, I got hurt, Johnny has moaned like a cat with it's balls stuck in Kempys chocolate drawer and the admin has been impecable. Now I know some of you are gutted to see that Mrs Hansells pantry has left us but I am assured that she will be back for a few guest spots once she is back from her business trip to Yemen that she informed Mr Hansell she was going on. Now I know that some of you do like to mock our manager/coach/health guru/bar propper upper and fruity hogger Mr Kemp but I really think the credit is not getting to our dimesionally challenged leader. I was in charge of team selection and match day last weekend and I must say it was fucking awful. johnny cancelling with Meg having an irritating rash on a Sunday morning, Bondy claiming he slipped over chasing a small Thai boy off the premises on Saturday night and Chris Allen claiming he couldn't get the trusty VW Vic up and running (understandable, it is a shit heap) made for an interesting start to the day. Luckily enough rain had fallen  overnight to even manage to extinguish whatever Joe Scott and Russ had been smoking and the game was off. So credit to Kempy for his continued good work. Anyway enough for now. I will keep this updated as often as possible, which will probably as often as a Skip appearance on a Sunday! That's mean actually, he does have a nasty paper cut injury at the moment that wil keep him out for 3 weeks. In other news by the way, I saw Ed Oddy at the immigration the other day muttering something about Yemen and a holiday visa. Any ideas?

Tan

Adam Tanner - The man....

Adam Tanner was born in July 1976 on the Orkney Islands. Weighing in at well over 2 stones he was the heaviest baby on the island, a record that still stands to this day.


Growing up on Orkney, Adam was renowned in the area as a keen ornithologist and indeed left the island some years later with a certificate in Falconry and as holder of the "All Orkney Cheese Eating Champion" 1991-1999 & 2001-2004. (2000 saw a shock result as a young family from Watford visited on holiday and young Matthew saw off more cheese than was believed humanly possible following a heavy binge on Fosters-top the previous evening)

Moving to the West of England, Adam was quickly established as a "mover & shaker" in the world of estate agency and was to form one half of the Tanman/Pooman double act that saw a promising and extremely lucrative property market descend into a widely unprecedented crash leading to the loss of millions of pounds worth of combined equity and hundreds of local jobs.

Despite being responsible for the worst thing to hit Bath's economy since they found that unpleasant algae in the water, Tanman was keen to stay in the area and establish himself as local football team captain. 

Recently injured in a bizarre ankle-turning injury, the lofty and not insignificantly sized centre-back has been spending his rehab working on team morale and his coaching badges.

You can find Tanman pitch-side on any given Sunday or bar-side at the Pig & Fiddle on any other given day.


This biog. will remain in place until such time as Tanman finds the time to write his first report.....